Protecting the Heart of Expectant Parents

The womb becomes the seat of creation as decreed by The Most High.  We should aim to honor and protect the sacredness of this time by nurturing and protecting the pregnant body.  The world, however, is not always conducive to our need to protect and honor pregnancy. 

Here are a few realistic tips to help you create your own safe haven for you and your baby:

1. Minimize Exposure to Bad News

24-hour news channels, global pandemics, systemic racism, and social unrest are all apart of our everyday experience as Americans.   When I was pregnant with my son, I remember feeling heavy with worry about the state of the world and what it would mean to give birth to a black male child.  It became very important to me to limit my exposure to bad news, and instead focus on joy.  That’s not always the easiest thing to do.  I would often dhikr, Ya Muhayamin (Oh Guardian & Absolute Authority Over All).  This was a continuous reminder to me that Allah is in charge.  Even though the world may look chaotic He saw fit to bless my womb with life, and in that simple fact, there was an endless joy.

2. Find Community

When feeling stressed, one key thing you can do is to shift your perspective. You may not be able to immediately change the world around you, but you are able to have a great impact on your baby’s environment. Find or form a group of like-minded parents who can provide support to each other.  If you’re not already apart of a community, build your own village. It’s important to be able to talk about the things that stress you so that you don’t bottle your feelings.  

3. Build a Super Birth Team

Be very intentional about the medical providers you hire to participate in your healthcare.  Your provider should leave you feeling heard, affirmed, and nurtured after every visit.  You should never feel ashamed or frustrated by interactions with your medical provider. Imagine if you’re frustrated with simple office visits, how will this individual support you during labor and birth?  It’s never too late to switch providers if you feel called to do so. I’ve worked with birth clients who switched providers as late as 39 weeks of pregnancy because they weren’t feeling properly supported by their OB or Midwife.

4. Hire a Doula

Doulas are birth and postpartum companions and advocates. In addition to assisting in providing all of your prenatal childbirth education, they get to know you on a 1:1 basis throughout your pregnancy. When it’s time for birth, they show up to support both you AND your loved ones as you welcome your new baby.  The doula’s role is never to replace a spouse or parent that you’ve invited to support you.  Instead, they help those individuals to enhance their experiences in supporting you during your birth, then fill the gaps by stepping up when your loved ones are uncomfortable or need a break.  Doulas can provide hands-on comfort measures, advocacy, and evidence-based information before, during, and after the birth of your baby. A good doula can help to ease whatever apprehensions you have about birth. They’ve been there, done that, and then some.  Be sure to find a doula that fits your vibe. Communication should be easy and come naturally between you.

5. Sleep!

Be vigilant about getting good rest and proper nutrition.  The standard recommendation is that pregnant women get 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night (not counting trips to the bathroom).   Having good sleep hygiene can positively impact the progress of your labor when it comes time to birth your baby.  The body relies on melatonin to facilitate the continued production of oxytocin during the course of your labor.  You produce melatonin in quiet dark spaces when your body is at rest and it’s the reason why many labors start in the middle of the night! If your body already produces melatonin regularly and easily, it can go a long way in smoothing out the progression of your labor.

6. Therapy

Mental wellness is a part of your physical wellness; and there should be no shame in taking care of your mental wellness. As a parent, it feels good to have a space that’s just for you. A place where you can process the multitude of feelings you’re having about all of the changes happening in your body, mind, and spirit.  Finding a therapist that you can speak to, either virtually or in-person, can have a very positive impact on your overall sense of peace and calm during pregnancy and immediately postpartum.  These are both major life changes and a little extra support never hurts.

While all of these solutions may sound simplistic, you may be surprised by how much of an impact they have on your overall well being.  We wish you all the best with your pregnancy, birth, and continued journey through parenthood. May Allah bless you with comfort and ease on your journey. (Ameen)

Malika Hook Muhammad is The DC Doula.  She has been a birth and postpartum doula since 2008 and has served hundreds of families in her practice.  She trains new doulas with Doula Trainings Internation and The Wild Ginger Herbal Center.  You can follow her on Instagram @DCDoula

Bismaaa heartwarmingly thanks Malika for sharing information about how to keep our hearts strong during pregnancy.  May Allah SWT continue to bless you, and we pray many pregnant parents will benefit from you sharing this knowledge.  Ameen